My song Bad Dog was named as a finalist in the Rock/Alt category of the 2019 Great American Song Contest. Doesn't seem very 'rock star' but I'm proud of it, and to me being a finalist is better than winning. Winning would be way too much pressure, expectation. Being runner up is better. I know that sounds like a rationalisation but this way I get the best of both worlds - at last some recognition that I can write, but not so much that I have to be that good again, to win everything. I'm not that good - I just write.
I like the song, but no more than others. I don't sit back and think 'oh what a great song. What a great writer I must be'. It's a good song and expressed what I felt at the time, and still often do. But the best song is always coming - forever the next one, or fixing one that I haven't been able to express enough.
I am glad to be a finalist. It's not my life's dream but it's a notch on the wall. It's not victory but confidence. I'm doing something right, somehow. Out of the chaos and emptiness I was able to produce something that means something to someone else. And I get this nice image I can display here. All those hours, edits, and frustrations for a 200x167 image, but it feels worth it - someone saw me. What a powerful emotion that is.
I'm not getting a big head but I am proud of this. It gives me confidence that I can write to a professional standard - a far cry from where I started. That I am a writer, not just a dreamer.
OK, back to writing...